Standstill

This weekend I will be spending within the confines of my home and my schoolbooks. Starting Monday I will have another test week; the third one I experience at this course and this school. This module I had the usual language courses (English and Spanish) as well as bookkeeping, marketing and research. The latter was only a report. The first two both have exams and the middle one also had a report connected to it.

I worked together with a very kind girl from another class this time. We had another teammate but he quit halfway through so we were left with just the two of us. We finished our projects approximately a week before the deadline (today, 7th of April). On that note, we’ve been performing well however our grades remain to be seen.

So far, I have already received two grades this module. The first was for the listening part of my Spanish course. I scored 14/20. This is a good start, I’d say. The second grade is an A+ on English Business Communication. An actual grade by number is still unknown but my teacher said it was at least a 9 and I dearly hope it is a bit higher than that. On the written test coming up, I hope to earn another 9 so that would create a grand average for that subject.

I’m willing to say one thing about this course though. Besides the fact that it is extremely amusing and my knowledge has been greatly expanded, I have never worked this hard in my life… I notice that I need extremely large amounts of sleep. I have had multiple instances of oversleeping. I have had evenings that I laid down and my ‘good eye’ felt painful and irritated, which made it even harder to fall asleep. I plan to speak to a study counselor about the situation because it could harm my performance.

A good friend of mine admitted she thinks I work ‘too’ hard. She recognized the effects that it has might be an accurate representation of putting in too much effort. It’s upsetting to think I can’t do this at the same pace as ‘normal’ people can. I recognize that this is truly a path towards my dream so I am very determined to succeeding. Therefore it is troubling to think I might need to slow down. Even if it is the best step, I will find it hard to accept.

Slowing down would mean holding back on the pace I set towards my dreams. I have already looked at the specialization I want to take in my third year (International Sustainability Management) and that I wish to find an internship in Scandinavia; preferably Sweden or Norway. What exactly that internship will entail, I have not planned yet. I wish to speak to a teacher focused on organizing the internships to see what the school offers.

But sometimes, stopping and standing still can actually be the best way to go on, as contradictory as that may sound. I see that too. I have been someone to often advise friends to take a break so they can go on stronger afterwards. Now I might have to face the consequences of my own advice.

Regardless of what might happen, I hope that I will still be able to complete the course and that the people in my life will continue to support me, even if I cannot perform at a ‘normal’ pace. I plan to make these people proud, some day.

What exactly my aim was of this piece, I am not sure myself. I just wish to share what my life has been concerned with and the what wisdom that gave me. There is also the excuse that I do not write often enough anymore. I am trying to get back into it but that too, is at a standstill. Let us hope we make leaps and bounds on all of my paths soon.

May destiny be kind to you.

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NaNo and IBMS

It’s September. I have only just started university life. For bragging rights, the name of my school is Stenden University of Applied Sciences. Such a mouthful so it must be good, right? Then to make things even more interesting, I am studying the program called International Business and Management Studies (IBMS).

I have survived the first two weeks. The first week was an introduction week. It was exhilarating yet completely draining. This previous week was our first actual week of classes. It was less exhausting because we only had a few classes in total. Even though it’s the first week of the first year, the teachers felt we should have homework; on the first day…

Nevertheless, I’ve been doing my utmost best to try to keep up with the homework and the study material. I’ve been trying to participate in class by speaking up. I answer the teacher or ask questions. Today I even got a compliment for one of my answers. I was then asked to repeat it so the entire class could hear it and write it down as a note. Brilliant, I felt and I think I blushed for a moment.

Anyway, evidently studying consumes both time and energy. At the end of this past June, I quit my volunteer work for an organization of my peers. I’m not happy about leaving them. I would have enjoyed staying but it would have hindered me. Last night, I quit my other volunteer job. I didn’t think it would get in the way as much, but it was mainly the effect it had on my mood that was displeasing to me. So that too, was for the best.

Evidently this ‘clearing’ of my tasks gives me more time for studying as well as for that one miraculous hobby I have; writing! Let me remind you, dear readers, of an event that is coming up. In November NaNoWriMo will be taking place as it always does. For me that means showing up to my exams, studying for others and trying to write.

To make sure my studies won’t suffer under the weight of writing, I will be doing what my friend is doing too. We threw our word count out the window. There it flies, see it? Instead we are going to focus more on the story itself. We both have a project laying around that we want to finish. So, that is exactly what we will be doing. I will be working on the continuation and potential finalization of my story Nivitera’s Promise.

I am not yet completely sure how I will balance writing with studying. Any tips on this are welcome.

Furthermore, I’d like to mention how much fun I am having at IBMS. I’m enjoying every class. My peers are very friendly and helpful. We often talk and get to know each other in-between classes. I feel really at home among them and in the building. I believe I found a place that I need to be. It feels welcoming and heart-warming. I haven’t found anything (so far) that displeases me.

I know this is another short post, but I decided to write it anyways. I want to get back into the habit of writing now and again. I know it’s very relaxing for me to do and that is just what I need after a long day of classes and study work. To me it feels like curling up by a comfortable hearth with a book and warm slippers on. Who doesn’t want that?