The Oxford dictionary has two definitions for time as a noun and three in the category of verbs. Each definition has countless sub definitions. This, to me, just makes it more confusing. What exactly is time? I consider it to be a measurement of the passing of an existence; a sequel of events and movements.
I stopped to think about the idea of time today because I was conversing with a friend. He let me know that a girl he had had his eye on had rejected him. They had gone on a date but she had concluded that they were better off as friends. He felt genuinely sad about this. My first instinct was to tell him that time would heal all wounds. Yet then a small voice in the back of my mind sounded, “Does it?”
My fingers stopped dead in their tracks as I was typing a reply to my friend’s message. Was time really a medicine for all things? It took me a minute to realize that time has little to do with any healing processes.
Of course, there is the obvious notion that time does not cure sickness. Common colds cure from rest and proper nutrition. Other illnesses are cured by antibiotics or other medicine. Some sicknesses, sadly, can not be cured. Yes, it takes time for the measures to take effect, but it is not time itself that heals.
On an emotional level, time is also out of business. I have also spent my time on heartbreak and rejection of some kind. I am a millennial, we all have our love stories so I also have mine. Looking back, time never solved anything for me because it just kept on passing. It did not change my thoughts (or my heart) on anything. I just carried on in the same state. Time never changed that I felt sad or that I missed someone. The simple passing of time only reminded me of all that I could have spent with them.
There have however been things that made the thoughts and emotions pass. Proof of that is myself. I am here still. I am no longer sad. I am not hung up on a past love interest. I too have moved on. What caused me to move on was never time. It was rather the kindness and presence of other people as well as (deliberate) changes in my own life. Sometimes I got so busy with a new hobby or study that all my energy and excitement was raised again. Then I would not feel sad about someone because the time I would’ve liked to spend with them is spent on something else that I am passionate about. Sometimes friends showed me these new things in life or made many little changes to my life to ensure it would be ‘mine’ once more. In that way, it belonged to just me. In the old life, it was common to have a person there with me. In the new life, I was alone and that was okay. There is also the possibility of a new love interest coming into my life or simply new people that amuse me on a platonic level to the point where I no longer feel a need for that former person.
Yes, time drives change. Time allows space (pun intended) for old things to become new. Encounters between persons is enhanced by time. Time itself, however, is not what heals. It is changes. So if you are dealing with heartache or rejection, change something! Even if it is the color of your hair or walls. Change will help change your heart.
May destiny be kind to you.